Guest or Family?

How do we treat people in our house, and how much of this treatment is culturally influenced? And would you rather be treated as family, or as a guest?

I personally am a bit confused on this - over the past couple of years, some people not of my immediate family that I have decided to invite into my "inner circle" and treat "as family" have complained of their treatment. Do I treat my family that poorly? They don't seem to complain.

I'm inclined to think (self-righteously??) that we want all the benefits of being "family" - familiarity, run of the house, ability to drop in whenever, etc. - without the responsibilities - doing some of the work, serving others instead of getting served all the time; and we also want the benefits of being the "guest" - politeness, being served, being entertained - without the awkwardness and time limit (at least the polite time limit imposed by North American culture).

So where does that leave us? I'm not sure. When we first visited our neighbors in Cameroon, they treated us as guests - talking with us, giving us a gift of some fruit even when they didn't have much food in the house, etc. Now, I think my neighbors, my friends, treat me as family, or at least like they treat their other friends - when I drop by, I have to go find them, they don't come to see me; and I need to sit with them and talk with them where they are, as they continue on with their daily tasks; and I'm welcome to stay as long as I want to, as long as I let them keep on with their work. You know, I think I've adapted to this part of the Oroko culture, as this is how I prefer to treat my good friends and family.

But what if they don't like it? I don't know. Time will tell. Maybe I'll find a better balance eventually!